How to develop mental toughness in jiu jitsu

I recently listened to an episode of The Sports Psyche Show where Dr. Alan McKay discussed his doctoral thesis on mental toughness behaviors. It was fascinating, as well as revelatory as to the things that contribute to mental toughness (it’s not what you think). I’m going to share the gist of what he shared, and then go into how I think it could apply to competing in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

(Here is a link to Dr. McKay’s doctoral thesis, “Developing a Framework of Mental Toughness in Youth Football: Exploring Mentally Tough Behaviours and Personality to Aid Talent Development”.)

What is mental toughness?

Dr. McKay defined mental toughness as “an individual’s latent capability to perform under pressure at any given moment”.

Put another way, in the context of jiu jitsu, unless we are injured, our ability to physically perform does not change from moment to moment; therefore, the only thing that prevents us from performing the physical acts required during a grappling match is our ability to execute, which is a mental process. Even when fatigued late in a round, our mental game (mental toughness) will determine our ability to continue to survey the situation, make decisions, and execute them.

What makes for mental toughness?

This is where it gets interesting.

When Dr. McKay interviewed his subjects, he was looking for examples of behaviors that provided a “link between one’s underlying [mental toughness] and performance outcomes”. A common factor that emerged was that these athletes (teenagers in the UK who played international youth football) referenced the relationships around them that led to displays of mental toughness: their teammates, coaches, support staff, families, etc. Strong relationships seemed to lead to more displays of mental toughness.

Interesting, huh? Mental toughness seems to have less to do with one’s individual well of willpower, and more to do with having a strong support system around them. That seems to fly in the face of common belief.

Why do relationships build mental toughness?

This is where we get into some speculation on my part, as Dr. McKay’s research wasn’t focused on the mechanism between relationships and mental toughness, so I hope he’ll forgive my conjecture.

Let’s define “relationships” before we move on, as that’s a broad term that can encompass a wide range of human interaction. For instance, it’s possible to have a negative relationship with, say, a toxic boss; that’s not what we’re going for here. For the sake of this article, “relationships” will refer to the largely positive connections between people who share a common goal; teammates, coaches, parents, friends, etc.

Good relationships are largely built on trust. You trust that this person has your best interests at heart, and wants to see you succeed. Good teams are those that are built on good relationships: everyone trusts that everyone else is working towards the same goal, and you don’t have to worry about what everyone else is doing. You can trust they are doing their jobs, so it frees you up to do yours.

So what does this have to do with mental toughness?

Let’s go back to that original definition: “an individual’s latent capability to perform under pressure at any given moment.” Put another way, having confidence in yourself that you can do what is needed, regardless of the circumstances.

Now, certainly part of this is preparation. If you’ve prepared properly for the sporting event, you’ll perform better. You have confidence because you know what to do.

But another part is having trust in the people around you: you trust that they have done what they needed to do to prepare for the event, that they have helped you prepare, that they are going to be where they are supposed to be, and that even if things don’t execute properly they will be there to help pick you up and get back in the game.

If you aren’t worried about the people around you, you can focus on the task at hand more clearly.

And going back to the preparation part: having a group of trusted people around will help you feel more prepared. You’ll feel safer making mistakes during practice and while acquiring new skills. You’ll know that if you aren’t performing up to your potential or making mistakes, they will be able to communicate that with you because they want to see you succeed, not because they are tearing you down.

One might say that, ultimately, having a strong support network around you can lead to having more trust in yourself. That’s a recipe for confidence, which will lead to displays of mental toughness.

How does this apply to jiu jitsu?

While Dr. McKay’s study focused on a team sport (football/soccer), it translates to jiu jitsu very easily.

Anyone who’s competed in BJJ will tell you that while it may be one person on the mat, it takes a team to get there. You have coaches to help you strategize, improve your technique, tell you what to drill, fix your mistakes. You have teammates who you roll with that push you, put you in bad situations, exploit their knowledge of your game to force you to get better, and tell you when you’re doing something well. You have friends and family that offer emotional support along the way, and might even be there to cheer you on when you compete.

If you don’t have a strong environment of trust with your coaches and your teammates, you will not be able to perform to your potential. You’ll second guess everything they say when training, and you’ll ignore their insights during your matches. You’ll be left to shoulder the entire burden of preparing and performing. And that lack of trust will reflect back, showing a lack of trust in yourself. A lack of self-trust will lead to a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence can manifest as a lack of mental toughness.

How do I apply this as a BJJ athlete?

If you don’t have those strong relationships with your coaches and teammates, ask yourself, “Why not?” Is it because you are in a bad environment, or is there something that you’re bringing to the table that’s preventing it?

There are bad gyms out there, no doubt; gyms with coaches who don’t care, who display toxic behavior, who don’t know what they’re doing. If you’re in a situation like that, get out ASAP.

But before you immediately jump to “bad gym/bad coach” as the reason for the lack of trust, ask yourself if you are the only one who sees the “problems”. If you are, it might be worth taking a deeper look at yourself.

Why won’t you let yourself trust your coaches? Do they have your best interest at heart? Are they knowledgeable? Have you communicated what you need, and is that request reasonable? Trust needs to start with you. Offer it, and good people will return it.

How do I apply this as a BJJ coach?

Let your athletes make mistakes. Give them your time and attention. Keep your word. Be honest with them, even when it’s hard. Tell them when they’ve done well. Say “no” when it’s appropriate. Surround your athletes with like-minded people that want those around them to succeed. Create an environment where people compete with each other, not against each other. Set a standard of excellence, walk the walk, and hold others to it. And remove any toxic people…don’t ever let that fester, no matter how talented they may be.

Conclusion

There’s certainly more research to be done here, and one study doesn’t make up an entire body of knowledge or completely shift paradigms; that’s not how science works. But the information in Dr. McKay’s study is certainly fascinating, as it does indicate that there is more depth to mental toughness than previously thought. The basic concepts certainly ring true when looked at through the lens of the human experience. And nothing bad will ever happen from building strong, trusting relationships with the people around you.

Works Cited

Developing a Framework of Mental Toughness in Youth Football: Exploring Mentally Tough Behaviours and Personality to Aid Talent Development

McKay, A. (Author). 2023

Further Reading

Dziuba, A., et al. (2025). The effect of stress, mental toughness, and their interaction on athletic outcomes. PMID: 40639670. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40639670/

Gu, S., et al. (2022). Relationships among sports group cohesion, passion, and mental toughness. PMID: PMC9690474. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PMC9690474/

Luo, J., et al. (2025). The relationship between social support and mental health in athletes. PMID: PMC12442422. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PMC12442422/

Pachaiappan, R. S. P. (2024). Mental toughness and athletic performance: a narrative review. PMID: 40990304. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40990304/

Xu, Y., et al. (2025). The effect of team cohesion on mental toughness. PMID: PMC12709504. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PMC12709504/